Do You Have to Cry When You Find ‘The One’?

After all my years working with brides, I can tell you one thing with absolute certainty:

There is no correct reaction to finding your wedding dress.

I’ve had brides cry.

I’ve had brides laugh.

I’ve had brides go very quiet.

I’ve had brides stare at themselves in the mirror for ages.

And I’ve had brides look at me and simply say:

“Yep. I think this is it.”

They can all mean exactly the same thing.

We Blame the Movies a Little Bit

Wedding dress shopping is often shown as this huge emotional moment.

The bride walks out.

Everyone gasps.

Mum cries.

The bridesmaids cry.

The bride cries.

Someone says, “That’s the one.”

And yes, sometimes appointments really do happen like that.

But plenty don’t.

Not crying does not mean you haven’t found your dress.

It usually just means you’re reacting like yourself.

Some Brides Just Aren’t Criers

If you’re not an emotional crier in everyday life, there is no reason putting on a wedding dress should suddenly change your entire personality.

Some brides are much more practical.

They’ll look at themselves and then immediately ask me:

“Can we change the neckline?”

“Could this have more support?”

“Can I dance in it?”

That doesn’t mean they love the dress any less.

In fact, sometimes those questions start because they are already imagining themselves actually wearing it on their wedding day.

The Bride Who Won’t Take the Dress Off

This is one of the biggest things I notice.

A bride puts a gown on and lingers.

She keeps looking at herself.

She turns around again to see the back.

She touches the fabric.

She wants to try a veil with it.

She starts talking about shoes, hair or alterations.

And somehow, ten minutes later, she is still standing in the same dress.

That can tell me far more than tears.

Then we try another gown and everything gets compared back to that first one.

“I like this neckline, but I liked the waist on the other dress more.”

“This is beautiful, but I still keep thinking about the last one.”

That is usually when the answer starts becoming pretty obvious.

Sometimes the Opinions Bench Cries First

Sometimes the bride is completely calm and somebody sitting behind her is already in tears.

That is lovely.

It can be incredibly emotional for a mum, sister or best friend to suddenly see someone they love looking like a bride.

But their reaction is still their reaction.

The bride doesn’t need to match it.

And she certainly doesn’t need to choose a dress because everyone else in the room became emotional.

The person wearing the gown still gets the final vote.

You Are Allowed to Think About It

I also don’t believe every bride has to decide on the spot.

Some brides know instantly.

Others want to go home and think.

Some want to look at photos.

Some come back for a second appointment, put the gown on again and suddenly everything falls into place.

You are choosing something incredibly personal — and usually something you are spending a significant amount of money on.

There is nothing wrong with taking a little time if that is what you need.

So What Does Finding ‘The One’ Actually Feel Like?

There really isn’t one answer.

It can feel exciting.

Emotional.

Comforting.

Relieving.

Or surprisingly calm.

Sometimes it is simply:

“I don’t want to keep looking.”

And after watching brides choose their wedding dresses for so many years, I think that can be one of the strongest signs of all.

If every other gown is being compared to one particular dress, if you keep finding reasons to stay in it and if you can genuinely imagine yourself walking down the aisle wearing it, you may already know.

Don’t Wait for a Reaction You Think You’re Supposed to Have

I would hate for a bride to walk away from a dress she genuinely loves simply because she thinks she was supposed to cry.

There is no required reaction.

There is no correct amount of emotion.

And there is definitely no rule that the bride, her mum and the entire Opinions Bench need to burst into tears at the same time.

Sometimes finding your wedding dress is dramatic.

Sometimes it is emotional.

Sometimes it is hilarious.

And sometimes it is simply a bride looking at herself in the mirror and saying:

“I feel like a bride.”

After all these years, I’ve learnt that those four words can be just as certain as tears.